So I met this guy.
We had mutual friends,
they suggested we’d meet,
I kinda pondered the intent.
I asked questions before I met him,
like was I his type?
What was he into?
Where was he from?
Why was he never in sight?
I shot him a text, not too much,
something small and polite.
I wanted to make a good impression,
and impact his perception.
His age was a new thing,
he was 24.
I was 18,
but who was really keeping score?
His skin was smooth and soft,
and he smelled so clean.
I liked his walk, I felt his talk,
down to the cuffs in his jeans.
He had this cool way about him,
and was so polite,
not to mention his warm touch.
He was just too much.
I looked at him in disbelief,
because my role was reversed.
I’m used to having the upper hand,
like my game was rehearsed.
He sat me down and made me watch,
without even knowing.
Plus he was anchored in his religion,
I admired his focus.
Yea he made a lot of money,
but that was a bonus.
I was more intrigued by how he operated,
he probably didn’t even notice.
Our little conversations was what I really liked the most.
He pointed out to me school wasn’t a race, and I should take it slow.
I got mad in this checkers line,
the story was kind of funny.
He changed my whole mood saying you get more bees with honey.
His Ora was positive,
he had this kind of light.
He was the example of having peace, and control over your life.
Always busy, getting things done, making sure things ran smoothly.
My mind was deeper,
just his way about him,did something to me.
Forget lust,
It was more respect.
I wanted to learn something.
For him to put me on game,
and have my mind running.
Not really having examples, made me cling to his wave.
I wanted him around to witness me become something great.
I was confused by his standpoint, and what he thought of me.
I started to feel like he was telling me anything to believe.
Maybe it was timing, was it gossip?
Maybe something I don’t know,
maybe he had someone waiting for him every night when he got home.
I know I’m young,
could’ve been that.
Maybe in not in his league,
I just wish I did us different,
maybe I was to easy.
I couldn’t help it, I was excited,
I just wanted to be with him.
I just hope I didn’t sway his mind, due to an impulse made decision.
Until this day it may never be another time around, or another call from him,
He always lets me down.
I don’t regret the time with him,
It was something I had to witness.
I came to terms we were only an experience.
and I would never become Ish’s.
A Glimpse into my thoughts. 